I've been reading a lot about Singlism, and the problems faced by single people, particularly people who choose to be single. And I have come to realise that it's something I feel passionately about.
I regularly have people feeling sorry for me when I say I'm single, telling me, "don't worry, it will happen soon". That always seemed weird to me, because I don't feel that my life is in any way deficit because I don't have a partner. I have managed to run a household, develop and grow in my career and have meaningful friendships and relationships with family, all on my own terms.
I am free to do what I want, when I want, if I want. The only obligations I have is to ensure that I feed my cats (and mostly I do that so they don't eat me while I sleep) and to go to my job to ensure I have money to feed the aforementioned cats. I don't need to "check in" with anyone, make compromises, take someone else's wants/needs into account, and I can sit in my jammies, drinking wine at 11am without anyone except the cats to judge me. Which they do.
I know the above may seem selfish to some. Others will argue that when you are in the "right relationship" you can do these things. No you can't. You always have to take the other person into account, or do so subconsciously.
I have an incredibly full life, and looking at it, I can't see where a relationship would fit without something else moving out of the way. And, to be honest, I don't want that. I love my life.
But, more and more I find myself getting insulted at the insinuation that my life isn't complete because I don't have a man, or that I must be miserable because I don't have one. It's rude.
The statistics also speak for themselves - singles lose out compared to people in couples. Single supplements, joint memberships for gyms, health benefits for spouses/partners, tax breaks for working parents. Where is the tax break for the person who works continuously, doesn't take maternity/paternity leave, spends more money (because there's more disposable income generally) within the economy, and works on when parents/couples have to take off early for parents' nights, anniversaries, sick dependents?
