In which I think about feminism

I am lucky enough to be surrounded by people who teach me things about life and myself every day. They also force me to really think about the answers to questions I am posed. I am blessed for this, as it encourages me to grow, learn and develop as a human being.

One topic which has become much bigger in my life is feminism. I am a feminist-newbie in the sense that I am still learning about the different waves of feminism and what they mean, and how feminism is growing and changing with society. I have also become more aware of, and uncomfortable with, the sexism in my life and am acting to change it.

Since I was tiny, I have held the belief that everyone should be equal. That regardless of gender, age, colour, sexual orientation or any other label, the human race should be given all the same rights and opportunities. To say otherwise, in my mind, was just ridiculous.

And it sounds so simple, doesn't it? If only it were. But when people can't decide on the "right" type of feminism, or when the definition of the word is so contorted by some that it resembles something bad and wrong, the focus is taken away from the intent and onto the person advocating it.

I see women talking about how they aren't feminists and it makes my heart hurt, because it shows that this attempt to derail feminism and the feminist fight is working. Words like feminazi were coined as hate speech - to make the attempts to achieve equality look like persecution. That could not be more wrong. The people of privilege - who are the ones who fight to make feminism look like a bad thing - are scared. They are scared that they will have to give up some of that privilege to make things equal. And they have gotten fat and lazy and used to a certain way of life, and you can be damned sure that they won't give it up without a fight.

Which means we need to fight back. And that's when the fingers are pointed at the serious activists, because in that snapshot they look angry and on the attack. Because they are. But very rarely is it asked why they are so angry and rebellious. It's because they have to be.

For feminism to succeed, we need to combat this image of a feminist as a man-hating bitch who wants to cut the balls off men and hang them from the rafters. We need to show all sides of feminism, from the quiet people leading by example and changing the lives of people immediately surrounding them, to the marching, campaigning women who are front and centre trying to get their message to as many people as possible. And on top of that, we need to understand that there is no "right" form of feminism, as long as everyone is working towards the same goal, then the means of getting there are irrelevant.

In every movement - every single movement - there is a group that can be tagged "extremist" or "fundamentalist". Feminism no doubt has those. But, like other groups, they are a small minority. We shout down anyone who tars all Muslims with the terrorist brush, so why would it be any different for feminists?

But I understand that feminism isn't just about equality for women, it is the fight for equality for all. And even if white women get their equality, then those white women should still fight for trans rights, for minority rights, for gay rights. Because we don't live in a vacuum, and our rights overlap.

I may not be a scholar in feminist studies, but I am beginning to understand the facets and nuances of the fight for equal rights for all. And that is what feminism is all about.