Be careful who you take on...

This isn't a threat in any kind of way, despite what the subject line may hint at. I generally don't do threats. What I do is deal in facts. And the fact is, you never really know who you are dealing with.

This stands in any part of your life - work, family, friends, hobbies. You may think you know a person, you might have regular dealings with them, or they may share their deepest, darkest secrets with you. But the fact is, no-one really knows what a person is capable of when they are really pushed.

I admit, I have a temper. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's being Scottish, maybe because my dad has red hair and I inherited the "fiery temper" gene. I have buttons that, if pushed, will set me off. It's not a healthy thing, I'm not proud of it but it's a fact. The thing is, very few people have ever seen me truly angry.

I rant and rave and swear quite a lot, but that's more of a frustration release than anything. But get me angry, actually angry, and it's a whole other ball game. That is scorching the earth, no-one will find your body fodder. I just work extremely hard not to let that part of me out because I know it will result in consequences that I would be unable to take back.

I can't remember the last time I got in a proper argument with anyone. I can't remember the last time I shouted at someone in anger. I was probably about 21, so a while ago. The last time I was in a physical fight I was a teenager. So it was very long ago. Because I realised that while I want to behave like that, it really doesn't achieve much and should only be as a last resort. It still lies in me though, and could come out if properly provoked.

And that is my point. There are people out there who "come for me" or my loved ones (absolutely one of my buttons) and they don't realise what lies beneath the surface. And admittedly, I don't know about them either. If I were to go back at them, it could ignite their fires and then it could really go left and grow into a Death Star of anger.

And to those who want to come at me, yes, maybe this is a warning.

But in the words of a Real Housewife (the source of a lot of my wisdom):


via GIPHY

The difference between like and respect

I have issues with a lot of people. Fuck it, at times I'm downright antisocial. I prefer my own company, or the company of a few choice friends and family members, as opposed to a massive crowd of people. And as much as I like spending time with loved ones, I like withdrawing just as much.

I used to think that it was a by product of my job. As a journalist, I would speak to dozens of people a week, on a whole range of topics. And when I moved up and was put in charge of two papers, I then had to attend events as a representative of the company and the brand.

However, I think it is more than that. As much as "bullshit fatigue" is probably part of my need to drop out of the human race for a bit, the fact is that a lot of people annoy me. They always have.

I was an advanced child, reading and writing before I started school. In primary, teachers would frequently have to give me work of older children because I would blast through the class work in a fraction of the time the rest of the class needed. I was also conversing regularly with adults - the benefit of having parents who wouldn't dismiss me up to my room at all times - so I was always mature for my age.

As a result, I would see the stuff my peers were doing as silly or childish. It never occurred to me that they were doing the normal things of children their age. Sometimes I did play, but in a "proper" way. I am more prone to whimsy and flights of fancy now than I ever was back then.

Anyway, the reason I explain that is to show that my dislike of people has been ingrained in me from a young age. But, what I have learned over the years, and it's something I'm proud to say I have learned, is that you don't need to like people to respect them.

Doesn't sound too revelatory, does it? Well, it's amazing how many people can't respect people they don't like. 

There are people I downright hate, but I can still respect them for who they are. I might think they are total bastards, but they might be good at their jobs, a good parent or have a great talent. The fact that they are a horrible human being to or in front of me doesn't negate all that other good stuff.

What gets me through many a day is the  understanding that I may not like a person, but I respect them. I don't want to ever go for a pint with them, but I can respect their achievements and who they are. Hell, I can even respect someone who can maintain a complete and utter veneer of bullshit in the face of reality. That takes a lot of work!!

Now, don't get me wrong, respect isn't automatic. I hate people who demand respect before they have shown they deserve it. "Respect your elders" - why, because they have managed to live a long time? Some old people are shitbags, so no. But tell me why I should respect them and at least I can base the decision on merit. I have respect for people who show that they should have it. 

And there's some people I neither like nor respect. But they are the ones I spend zero time and energy on, so I won't waste another word on them.